MASC LESBIANS, WE ARE ON STRIKE

You Want Our Labor. You Still Choose Men. The Labor of Lesbians: Your Continued Loyalty to Men.

 

Masc lesbians. Studs. Masc dykes.

We are on strike.

We are done with the emotional labor.

In relationships, we are not patriarchs.

We are done being the driver.

The therapist.

The one who always takes accountability.

The one who always has to be perfect.

Masc lesbians are not allowed to make mistakes.

Any time we make a mistake, we are held to a level of accountability as if we were a white man who did something intentionally harmful just because we wear men’s clothing.

We are allowed to make mistakes just like everyone else.

We are done with community organizing.

We are fucking done.

All our lesbian-centered parties were originally built to include people who are constantly excluded.

They were not about exclusion.

They were about belonging.

Then, bisexual women started bringing their boyfriends.

Then their boyfriends started bringing their straight male friends.

Now our lesbian-centered spaces are full of men while lesbians are standing outside.

The security guards are often men, too.

Think about how insane that is.

No lesbian should have to fight a man to get into a lesbian party.

No lesbian should have to argue with a man about whether she belongs in a space built by lesbians. The masc lesbians have to wait while the male security guards let all the femmes and men in before her.

We are done with the feminist labor.

Lesbians have helped build feminist movements.

Womanist movements.

Community movements.

And somehow there is never a sense of:

“Thank you.”

There is only more expectation.

More labor.

More sacrifice.

We are done raising other people’s kids.

Do you know how many men leave women to raise children alone? The number is big, look it up.

And then lesbians step in without judgment?

I know men who refuse to date women with children.

Meanwhile, I know lesbians who willingly help raise those children despite having no obligation to do so.

That matters.

We are done protecting women who do not want to be protected.

I used to listen to women talk about how badly men treated them.

How unsafe they felt.

How much they hated what men were doing.

And I believed them.

I thought:

“I got you.”

But then I realized something.

Many of those same women were still completely centered around men.

And me trying to protect them put me in danger.

I almost got jumped.

Almost got beat up.

Got screamed at.

Got blamed.

So no.

I’m not doing that anymore.

We are done creating culture for people who refuse to protect us.

Masc lesbians create culture.

We start the parties.

We build the spaces.

We take the risks.

I own a lesbian-centered brand.

I know what it takes to publicly say:

“This is for lesbians.”

A lot of people won’t do it.

Masc lesbians do.

Because we are not afraid to look like lesbians.

We are not afraid to be lesbians.

We are not afraid to sit in our identity unapologetically.

So what happens if lesbians go on strike?

Honestly, I think it is already happening.

People talk about a stud shortage.

A masc shortage.

And they act confused.

Why?

What do you think happens when a group keeps getting punished for showing up?

What do you think happens when a group is expected to do all the labor and receive none of the protection?

The femmes know the difference.

Many femmes know exactly how differently masc lesbians treat them compared to men.

They know lesbians often treat them with care.

With patience.

With support.

And they know the difference is not subtle.

So what does the strike actually look like?

The parties stop.

The organizing stops.

The childcare stops.

The feminist labor stops.

The emotional labor stops.

The protection stops.

Women become more dependent on men because lesbians stop stepping in to support them.

And maybe then people will finally notice what lesbians were doing all along.

Because that’s the thing that keeps bothering me.

I am tired of the lack of acknowledgment.

You can go on social media right now and watch women praise men.

You can walk into my lesbian-centered shop and watch women immediately bring every conversation back to men.

Women will still defend men.

Explain men.

Make excuses for men.

Say “not all men.”

But I rarely see lesbians acknowledged for what we actually do.

I don’t see people talking about the lesbians helping raise children.

I don’t see people talking about the lesbians financially supporting households.

I don’t see people talking about the lesbians showing up emotionally for women.

I don’t see people talking about the lesbians who spend years treating women with care, patience, tenderness, and support.

I rarely see gratitude.

I rarely see acknowledgment.

Instead, I keep seeing the same pattern.

Women complain constantly about how men treat them.

Then they date lesbians.

And suddenly the standards change.

The grace disappears.

The patience disappears.

The benefit of the doubt disappears.

The accountability becomes one-sided.

The lesbian is expected to be perfect.

The lesbian is expected to understand.

The lesbian is expected to absorb.

The lesbian is expected to forgive.

The lesbian is expected to stay.

And if she doesn’t, she becomes the problem.

I have watched women stop speaking to their best friends over something small.

Then spend years forgiving behavior from men that was objectively worse.

I have watched it happen over and over.

So when people enter lesbian spaces carrying those same habits, I notice it.

The hierarchy changes shape.

But the pattern remains.

The woman is still competing with women.

The woman is still centering men.

The woman is still extending grace upward while directing criticism sideways.

And eventually you have to ask:

Who are you actually building your life around?

Who are you actually loyal to?

Who are you actually protecting?

Because it often feels like people want lesbian support while reserving their deepest loyalty for men.

They want our labor.

They want our listening.

They want our community.

They want our protection.

But when it comes time to choose whose feelings matter, whose experiences matter, and whose perspective matters, many of them still choose men.

And I’m tired of pretending I don’t see it.

The strike is not about punishment.

The strike is about visibility.

The labor is invisible until it stops.

Nobody notices who is carrying the water until the water stops showing up.

That is the law.

And I think lesbians have been carrying water for a very long time.

My final demand is simple:

Stop treating lesbian existence as discrimination.

My existence is not an attack.

My boundaries are not an attack.

My identity is not an attack.

My community is not an attack.

My language is not an attack.

And I am tired of being treated like it is.

The real question is:

Do lesbians have permission to center themselves?